


A Little Blind

by missema



Series: Allyse Shepard, Space Cadet [16]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-02
Updated: 2012-07-02
Packaged: 2017-11-09 01:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Allyse is grieving for Mordin, Kaidan is there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Blind

There was no point in looking at the time when Kaidan woke up, alone in Shepard's bed.  It was too quiet on the ship, he could hear the bulkheads creaking but no other signs of movement outside the cabin as he sat up.  Even the fish in her tank, the only light illuminating the room, looked like they were asleep.  He was getting used to it, she never slept very much in one stretch.  The relentless tap of water signaled the shower in use, and he got up and stripped so he could join her, the sound an invitation too tempting to refuse.

Under the stream of warm water, Allyse was leaned against the wall, in a tired, morose sort of way.  She was facing the door, so his entrance didn't surprise her, but rather brought a small smile to her wet face, her eyes seemed even bigger with her hair slicked back.

Wordlessly, Kaidan joined her, wrapping large arms around the figure that was still tilted, her head rested on the wall.  When he hugged her, she let her head fall to his chest, the water running down the both of them as they stood there, silent.  

It wasn't erotic, lacked heat and passion, but still intimate as he began to wash her hair, knowing what she liked and what to do by rote, having done it before.  He didn't do much for himself, but that didn't matter, he'd take another shower later.

When they were dry, he hugged her again, wrapping her in a towel to keep her warm.  Allyse sat heavily on the end of the bed, looking down at the floor between her feet.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You, you never met Mordin, did you?"  She asked.

"Your salarian friend?  He was with you on Horizon, him and Garrus."  Kaidan answered, unsure of how much to say.  

He hadn't really met Mordin, but he knew of him, had studied his file in detail when he was investigating Allyse.  Investigating, researching, all those official terms thrown out by the Alliance were really insufficient.  It had been an official investigation, sure, but he had really been a man searching for answers, hoarding information about the woman he loved, trying to piece together a mystery.  Those had been desperate times, he searching for any thing that might help him make sense of Shepard's appearance on Horizon, and what she was doing afterwards, why she didn't go straight back to the Alliance.

"I forgot about that.  Yeah, he came with us."  Allyse shrugged, despondent.  "I was just thinking about him, missing him.  He said 'had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong.'  All these things, he was trying to make up for work on the genophage, but I think there was something else, just a desire to do the right thing, to be a force of good.  But it's so hard when you don't have all the information, don't know whether what you're doing is really right or wrong."

"We're all a little blind, but Mordin had the courage to go back to do things right when he could.  That's what we have to do.  If we make a mistake,"  Kaidan took her chin in his hand and tipped her face up to look into his, "we fix it.  That's what we do, Shepard."

Little droplets of water were still falling from the damp ends of her hair, tracing paths down her the skin of her neck akin to errant tears.  He watched them drip soundlessly, absorbed into the bronze skin, the excess running down her body into unseen places, covered by the towel.  

"He was a good man.  It's alright to miss him."  Kaidan said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah."  It was all the answer he got, all he was going to get from her.  They got back into the bed, and when he woke up again, he was alone once more, a datapad on her side of the bed open to pictures of Ashley.  It never got any easier.


End file.
